


Helena Wayne: The Babysitting Files

by fandom_lesbian



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-25 03:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17717183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_lesbian/pseuds/fandom_lesbian
Summary: Different times that the batfam babysat Helena





	1. Dick and Babs have no idea what to do with a toddler

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is the only one with a ship besides selina/bruce but enjoy

Dick laid on his couch. Babs was busy in her office and he was healing from a fight from yesterday night. 

The last thing he expected was the doorbell to ring. He groaned as he got up and answered it. If it was Jason… well his darling brother would wish to be dead again.

But it wasn't. No it was much worse. It was Catwoman holding a bundle.

“Selina. What on earth are you doing here instead of Gotham?” He asked.

“A meeting with a friend. But I need you to watch this for me. It's very valuable.” Selina smirked and lightly patted the bundle.

“I'm not hiding stolen goods for you.” 

“Not stolen. I made her.” She shifted the bundle to where Dick could see a small face. A baby.

“Oh. That is a baby.” 

“Yes. Her name is Helena.” She then handed the baby to Dick and kicked in a diaper bag he hadn't seen before. Then she left.

Helena couldn't be more than a few months old. 

Dick couldn't help but to wonder if her father was Bruce. If so, why did Selina drop her off with him and not Bruce? 

Dick hasn't babysat since Damian stopped sneaking out of Wayne Manor on school nights.

And that wasn't normal babysitting.

He closed the door and called out for Barbara. She took care of Cass for the longest time surely between the two of them they had enough skills to make sure Helena survives until Selina comes back.

If she came back. 

Babs rolled out of her hidden office and gaped at Dick. “What is that?” She asked.

“Catwoman’s baby. Her name’s Helena. Selina ditched her for the night.” Dick said.

“Selina owes me one.” Babs said as Helena decided now would be a good time to wake up and cry. 

Dick stared at Babs. 

“Sing something! Check her diaper!” Babs said. Dick did the latter first but Helena was fine in that matter.

“While all the boys can always save the day  
No one does it better than the Birds of Prey  
(The one and only Birds of Prey)  
While all the boys can always save the day  
No one does it better  
No one does it better than the Birds of Prey.” Dick sang. Helena calmed down a little and even Babs was smiling.

“Really Dick?” She raised an eyebrow.

“You and certain friends of yours sing that all the time. Those friends include Selina so I guessed.” He said, handing Helena to Babs. 

She took the Hello Kitty blanket off of the small girl. “Let's see. Blue eyes, black hair. If Batsy isn't your dad already, he'll become your dad. You could be Dickie's sister easily.” Babs said. Helena giggled and grabbed Barbara’s hair.

“Okay, I'm taking her back. I will not have anyone calling me Dickie.” He said.

“You don't mind it when I call you it when we're alone.” 

“That's because you're you.” 

“Aw, Dickie. Anyway I can't Selina named her after Huntress. Barbara is a much better name.” Babs frowned, setting Helena on the ground after she had grabbed her hair with both hands and showed no sign of mercy.

Helena looked around then stood up and toddled over to Dick.

“Hello.” He said.

“Cat.” She said.

“No, I'm dick.” 

“Cat.” Helena grabbed his pants.

“How is Huntress anyway?” He asked.

“She's as good as she can be. Her civilian life at least. We don't talk about the hero life or whatever she's doing now.” Babs shrugged. 

Helena tugged on Dick's leg. “Cat.” 

“I don't have a cat.” Dick said.

“How old do you think she is? I'm thinking two.” 

“I’d say one and a half.” 

Dick picked Helena up. “How old are you?” He asked her.

She looked at him, smiled then hit him in the face. “Cat.” 

“She is her mother's daughter.” Babs laughed.

“Should we call someone else to watch her?” Dick asked.

“Who would we call?” 

“Dinah has two kids. What about her?” 

“Sin was adopted at like six. And Connor is still an infant who has sonic screams. I think she would be busy.” 

“Talia.” 

“I think Selina would kill you.” Babs laughed.

Dick looked at Helena who was now poking his shoulder where his bandages where. He handed her back to Babs.

“We can call Lois. Her son is ten. So she's managed to keep a child alive for years.” Dick smiled weakly.

“Dick. I don't think we can get out of this. Hey, at least we know Selina trusts us.” Babs said. 

“Yeah. I guess. I wonder what she's doing here though.” 

“Not your problem.” 

Helena let out a yawn. “Guess we should put her to bed.” Dick said.

“No.” Helena said. 

“Okay, how about we watch a movie in the dark?” Dick asked.

Helena nodded. Dick smiled. Jason may have been almost a teenager when Dick use to get him to go to bed by watching a movie with him but the fact is kids are just like that when they're tired.

Babs turned on the tv and flicked through the channels with the remote while Dick wrapped the Hello Kitty blanket around Helena's shoulders and plopped her on the couch.

He fell asleep in the middle of Frozen only to be shaken awake.

Selina stood over him, wounded and covered in blood. “Holy shit.” Dick said.

“Shush. Barbara is already getting medical shit.” She said.

Dick looked over at Helena for a second. She was luckily sleeping.

“Do you normally come get your kid covered in blood?” 

“Nah. Just a few times. She's always asleep of course.” Selina frowned.

“Is Bruce her-?” Dick wasn't sure how to asked her about the parentage of her daughter.

“Yeah. Don't tell him though. It's not time yet.” 

“How old is she?” 

“One. Turns two in two weeks.” 

“Tell him soon. He would want to watch her grow up. Plus Alfred would be a better babysitter. Trust me, I was only left in charge once or twice when I lived with Bruce and Jason was… yeah. Anyway tell him.” Dick said.

“Little bird, I will soon. When I'm ready.” 

After Barbara patched Selina up, Dick carried Helena down to Selina’s car.

Selina thanked him and drove off. 

Upstairs, Dick watches as Babs turned off the lights and tv.

“Do you ever think about having kids?” He asked.

“If you mean getting pregnant, I haven't since I was told I couldn't after being shot. If you mean adopting, sure I've thought about it once or twice.” She said as she rolled around the couch to get to where Dick was standing. 

“But not yet okay. Let's wait until we're married and bloody women don't break into our apartment when we've been babysitting for her.” Babs grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a quick kiss.


	2. Duke and Damian are the favorite brothers

Damian was sparring with Duke when Selina Kyle entered the cave with a child in tow. The child was a girl with big blue eyes and long black hair.

She looked familiar but Damian couldn't quite figure her out.

“Where’s Brucie?” Selina asked him and Duke.

Damian kept staring at the girl instead of answering her. Why did the girl look familiar? Was she Selina's child? Maybe but there was something about the girl's nose and the way she smiled that was off. That was far too familiar for his liking.

Duke responded. “He's on patrol with Kate.” 

“Great. I need to talk to him. Can you two watch my kitten while I go after him?” She asked. So the girl was Selina's child.

“Sure.” Duke shrugged. Damian glared at him.

“No.” Damian said.

“Damian, not like she's asking to commit a crime. It's babysitting. It'll be fine. See you later, Selina.” Duke said.

Damian rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, kitten go ahead and introduce yourself while mommy leaves.” Selina walked away.

The girl smiled. “I'm Helena. Helena May Kyle-Wayne.” She said.

Oh. That's why she was familiar. The Wayne nose that Damian shared with his- no their father was on her face. And her smile was one he saw rarely but he knew too well. He looked around to see if Selina was still here but she was gone.

“I didn't know Bruce had another daughter.” Duke said. He bent down to Helena's height and held out his hand for a fist bump. Helena smiled and tapped her fist against his.

“I'm a surprise. That's what mommy says.” Helena said.

“Well, I'm Duke.” 

“Mommy says you’re the only sane one in that shit hole cave. Besides Cass.” 

Duke laughed. Damian glared at them both. 

“And I'm Damian, so tell me what does your mother say about me?” He asked Helena. 

She frowned. “She calls you a kitten. A sad and angry kitten.” 

“Tt.” Damian said. 

“Dickie says you're a grumpy baby.” Helena smiled. 

“Richard?” Did Richard know about this child? How come he never told anyone? Why keep the fact that their father had another daughter? More importantly another biological kid. A daughter whose mother is Catwoman. Catwoman who only so long ago turned from a life of crime. 

Helena blinked at him. She probably didn't know Richard's full name was Richard Grayson considering she called him Dickie.

“Nevermind. Duke, I suppose you have this under control. I'm going up to my room.” Damian said.

Duke put his hand on Damian's shoulder. “Nope. Buddy system. I'm not being left alone to keep an eye on a five year old. What if she's secretly a thief like her mother?” Duke whispered.

“Please as if-

“Damian, look who's talking Mr. ‘I drove at four’ and all that. Also she seems to like you.” Duke gesture at Helena, who was staring at Damian.

Damian rolled his eyes. “Fine I'll stay.” 

“So Helena, what games do you like to play?” Duke asked.

“Batman and Robber! Mommy always plays robber and I get to be Batman!” Helena jumped up and down.

“Okay, so you're Batman and we're two robbers?” Duke asked her.

Helena shook her head. “No. Duke, you be dumb cop. Dami, you be the robber.” 

Damian glared at her. “What?” Dami? What kind of name was that?

“Oh yeah. Duke, please be the dumb cop. Dami, please be the robber.” Helena looked up at both of them. 

Now Damian will never admit it but he couldn't say no to the face she made. Helena knew she was adorable and used that for evil.

Which is how Damian ended up on the floor with Helena sitting on top of him while he held a bag of Monopoly money Duke had ran upstairs to grab. Duke on the other hand was happily sitting in a nearby chair. 

“Officer Duke, I caught the robber! Come arrest him, please!” Helena said. She then proceeded to grabbed Damian's hands and hold onto his wrist.

Did Selina really play this game? This was humiliating. 

Duke walked over and poked Damian's nose. “Okay, I arrested the thief.” 

“Then my work is done.” Helena said in a gruff voice. Damian almost laughed. Almost.

Helena got of him and he sat up. “Good job, kid. Maybe you'll be a good Batgirl one day.” 

“No I'll be Robin and then Batman.” Helena said.

Duke patted her head. “Just don't be like Mr. ‘blood son’ here. It's not nice.” Damian rolled his eyes. He had stopped doing that.

“Blood son? What's that mean?” Helena asked.

Damian and Duke looked at each other. How does one explain that without mentioning certain things.

“Well Bruce was Damian's dad from the second you came into this world even though he didn't know it for eleven years.” Duke said.

“Yeah and he became Dick's dad after Dick lost his parents. Same with Jason, Tim, and Duke. He became Cass’s dad when she escaped a monster.” Damian said. Duke gave him a look. He never called anyone by their first name; Duke, Selina, and Cass excluded.

“Oh. What about Steph? And Babs? Oh and Luke?” 

“Luke is a family friend. Like a cousin. And Babs has her own parents. She's Dick’s special friend.” Duke said, then looked to Damian. Did he want Damian to explain how Brown fit into this patchwork quilt of a family?

Damian sighed. Of course he did. “Steph is a goblin who eats all of Pennyworth's waffles and sleeps in a guest room.” 

Helena giggled. “You're silly, Dami.” 

“Dami sure is.” Duke laughed. Damian glared at him.

After four hours, Selina returned with Bruce and Kate in tow. Helena looked up from the coloring book Damian had went out and bought for her. 

“Mommy! Duke and Dami got me a kitty coloring book and these crayons!” She screamed. 

Bruce looked down at Helena and Damian noticed his face soften. 

“This is her?” He asked. Selina nodded.

“Yeah. Helena say hi.” Selina said.

Helena ran up to Bruce and grabbed his cape. “Hi! I'm Helena May Kyle-Wayne. Mommy said you would like to hear my very fancy and special full name.” 

Damian smiled slightly. This was going to be interesting.


	3. Cass is a great sister and Tim is a nerd

When Cass first meet Helena the little girl smiled up at her and called her big sister. Helena was the most adorable thing she had seen since she found out that Damian sneezes like a kitten. 

Cass had no problem when it came to watching Helena whenever. She never had a sister after all. Unless you counted Steph but Steph was more like a weird relative that used to crash on the couch so much that she was given a room. And then Steph moved in with Cass so she guessed she was like a sister but not like legally or in the same way her brothers were her brothers.

Anyway Cass loved having a little sister especially one who was as funny and sweet as Helena.

Cass was visiting Wayne Manor and playing Mario Karts with Tim when Helena came into the living room holding Alfred the cat.

“Cassie! Timmy! Daddy said you two are going to watch me while him and Alfred go to go a boring meeting thing!” The seven year old yelled. It was Bruce's week with Helena which was part of the reason Cass was over.

“Do you want to play?” Cass asked. Part of her wanted to try to explain that she didn't like the nickname Cassie because Cassie was Tim's friend. It would be confusing for them both to use the same name. But she has already tried to reason that with Helena. Seven year olds are not very reasonable.

“Yes!” Helena set Alfred down and sat down between Cass and Tim. 

Tim grabbed a third remote and plugged it in as the round ended. “Cass, did you really just blue shell me?” Tim asked.

“Yes. Now Helena, who do you want to be?” 

“The ghost! It looks so cool.” Helena pointed at the screen.

Cass smiled as Tim explained the controls to Helena. She was going to let Helena win even and she knew Tim was too. They just needed Helena to be able to play.

“I got it.” Helena said. 

“Are you sure?” Tim asked.

“Yes. Cassie tell Timmy that I am sure.” Helena said. 

Cass chuckled. “She is sure, Timmy.” 

Tim stuck his tongue out at Cass. 

They then proceeded to play a few rounds of Mario Karts. And they let Helena win every single one. Neither of them had the heart to beat her. 

They stopped playing when Helena whined about being hungry. So down to the kitchen they went. 

Tim sat on the counter while Cass looked around in the fridge for something simple to pull together. Helena was at her side.

“Tim, why don't you go see if we still have animal crackers.” 

“Damian ate them all last night. I saw him with them while I was getting some coffee.” Tim said. 

“Still. Go look.” Cass turned and shot him a look. Tim liked to say it was the big sister look. She hadn't been aware of it until he pointed it out to her.

Tim sighed and jumped off the counter and went to check. He yelled from the pantry a few seconds later. “Nope. The demon child ate them all.” 

“Timmy! That's not nice!” Helena stomped her foot on the ground. Cass laughed.

“Tim wasn't being mean, Damian and him insult each other for fun.” She explained.

“Oh. That's super big crazy.” Helena held her hands up to express how crazy she thought they were.

Tim came out and shrugged. “You'll understand one day. Unless you're the last kid but you never know.” 

Cass glared at him.

“What?” Helena stared at Tim, who just realized what he had said implied.

“Dad likes to adopt kids. And take kids in.” Cass said.

“Yes. That's what I was saying.” 

“Okay. Do you think Mommy will have a baby? I really want a baby sister or brother. But sister would be better. We have too many brothers.” 

“She might. And yeah we do.” Cass said.

“Are Stephie and Harper our sisters?” Helena asked.

“No. Steph is a family friend and Harper is my special friend. Like how Dad and your mom are friends.” Cass said. 

Tim laughed. “Harper might become your sister in law if her and Cass get married.” 

Helena's eye lite up. “I want Harper to my sister in law! Cassie, please marry Harper! After snacks!” 

Cass just laughed and opened the freezer. “You want some ice cream?” She asked Helena. 

Both Helena and Tim answered. “Yes.” 

Cass rolled her eyes as she grabbed out the tub of cookie dough ice cream. Tim had already grabbed the bowls, scoop, and spoons by the time she got it opened. 

“If you think I'm going to get you your bowl, you'll be dead.” Cass said.

“Don't worry, I know. I'm being polite and letting you get yours and Helena's first.” Tim said. 

“Hmm. Whatever.” 

The three siblings sat in the dining room happily eating the ice cream.

“Now you can marry Harper.” Helena said.

Cass almost choked on her ice cream; she had almost forgotten that part of their conversation. 

“I think I'll wait a little longer before I marry her, okay? And when I do, you can be the flower girl.” She might to say ‘if’ instead of ‘when’ but Helena would have questioned it if she had. Helena was a smart and curious little girl. 

“Tim, when you get married can I be the flower girl?” 

“Sure. Of course, I don't even have a special friend yet so it'll be a very long time until than.” Tim ruffled her hair.

Helena nodded. “What is a special friend?” 

Cass glanced at Tim. Seven year olds didn't have a good concept of dating even ones as smart as Helena.

“It's a friend that you kiss on the lips.” Tim said.

“But you have to be at least sixteen to have one.” Cass added.

Helena nodded. “You mean a girlfriend or boyfriend. Mommy had a girlfriend named Hel. One time I stayed up in my room and went to get water and Mommy was kissing her! Mommy was disappointed I stayed up but she explained girlfriends and boyfriends to me! In the morning Hel made pancakes and told me she was a hero too!” 

“Oh. Okay, it's good that you know that.” Cass said. Of course she was glad to hear that Helena didn't see anything R rated. Hopefully Selina is more careful now. Also Cass was surprised to hear that Selina and Hel aka Helena Bertinelli aka Helena's namesake aka Huntress were dating. Okay not that surprised.

“Then she had a boyfriend. I didn't see them kiss but I saw him leaving in the morning.” Helena said.

Or not. Oh well. Selina dated around a bit whenever her and Bruce break up. Which they currently were. Cass had twenty bucks on the line if they didn't get back together by next month. Damian had already lost with his bet of it being last month. She would get a $160 profit and bragging rights if she won. She was mostly in in for the bragging rights after all Bruce Wayne was her dad. Wow her thoughts sounded so much like spoiled rich kid even though she has only been his daughter for a few years.

Bruce and Alfred returned later that afternoon while Tim was teaching Helena how to play chess. Cass hugged Bruce as she left. 

“I have to go. I'll be stealing Helena away tomorrow for a girls day out.” She said.

“Alright. I'll send you then.” He said.

She noticed his body language said I love you. But also stay. She would have stayed but if she stayed for too long she would never leave. But every bird needs to leave the nest at some point.


End file.
